I also have a Twitter account I barely use as well.

Wow, I can't believe it's been this long since I've used this blog. I mean why should I blog? Who cares what I think? It's super rainy like hurricane style outside. I'm on vacation for one more day after today. Damn.

Is there anybody out there?

Wow, I haven't written in here since January. I don't know if I have given it up or not but I thought I'd write in it it anyway. I still only have the K-Mart job but I am getting about 29 hours a week or so by accident. I only get scheduled for like 22 but someone calls in sick or whatever and I get a shift. But still no 2nd job or one really good one. We are moving but don't know where. Zander is now over a year old and walking more than ever. Our TV blew up and only produces sound. I am glad we got a 5-year plan for it since we are still paying it off. My mom wants to come visit at the end of the month. She hasn't seen her grandson since he was about 3 months old. He's really into Blue's Clues, Dora the Explorer and The Backyardigans. We had Ruby Tuesday's today and I ate my 1st bison burger. It was pretty good. It was heartier than beef but since it was covered with cheese and pickles and onions it didn't seem to be that different than beef. I will have to go there again and try it prepared another way. I am gonna leave it at that I guess. Wonder if anyone reads this. Is anyone out there?

It's been 2 months.

Yes, since I wrote my last entry. A lot has happened in that time. I have since quit my job at the movie theater. Finally. I hated it with a passion. I was able to work at K-Mart instead where I was actually appreciated. They gave me 40-hour weeks and I made some extra money with comission. Right now I am only getting about 27 hours a week but I am enjoying my down time with my family even though Zander is quite the handful. He crawls now which he wasn't doing when I last wrote. He can use the furniture around him to make himself stand which means he should be walking around any day now. My Christmas was pretty good. This year it was spent in Maine. We will be in Florida next time. Laura and Zander and I got a lot of presents which are still all over the living room but we are still enjoying them. I had to work New Year's but when I got home Laura and I just watched Spider-Man and spent time together. Currently, I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do with my job situation but I am not quite sure how to proceed. Should I try looking online? Should I physically go out there and see what's available? It's hard in January after all the holiday jobs are gone. I may try and get a teaching job at a high school although to be certified I have to take a class first. The idea of teaching students who don't want to be there is not my idea of fun but I need to do something. I also dread the idea of talking to these kids' parents which I never had to do working in colleges. We got a lot of snow today but it still doesn't feel like the past few winters we have had. It seems last winter we had tons and tons of snow but it's pretty mild this year. Even when it has snowed on days I have had to work I haven't had to drive 25 miles so that is a big plus. Anyway, I need to go check on my son since he's not happy in the chair right now. Hopefully I will write more soon.

I hate my job

Well, it's been a long time again since I have written anything here. I am not sure why it takes me so long to write anything but I thought now was the time to do so. I hate my job. I really do. I have 2 and I hate one of them so much. My K-Mart job I don't mind so much. When it starts to get busy I feel like I am sort of in my element retail-wise. I mean not that I find selling electronics a life's calling but when there's a rush around the holidays and I can help people find what they need to make someone's Christmas present the right gift, that makes me feel good. But when I am by myself and there are too many people, that can be frustrating. I am not sure that I am great at this job but at least I don't feel like get shit from my higher ups. Now the movie theater job I have used to be okay until they fired my last boss. He looked out for me there and since we were both the only non-Mainers there we saw eye-to-eye on what they didn't see. He looked at the big picture. The people who work for Flagship Cinemas have such a weird way of looking at how to run a business it boggles my mind. They have no idea how to treat employees well. It's so damn frustrating. I wish I could find something else to do right now. Maybe since it's the holidays I can find something else at least temporarily. I would love to work in a bookstore again. There are a few in town and I think maybe I could try doing that again. Maybe when I get out of work I will stop by the mall and get some applications. Or perhaps the bookstore in front of K-Mart. I like working in a movie theater but this company sucks so bad. I like the free movies but I don't get to see movies that often so is it even worth it? If I am in L/A long enough I'd try the Best Buy even. I really want to teach again though. I miss it. I felt like I had found what I was supposed to be doing with my professional life. Unfortunately it ended at a high point when my mother-in-law's cancer got worse. I can't believe it's been almost 3 years since that happened and I have had only one teaching job since. That job was horrendous too. Why is it that I can't seem to find a job that will make me happy up here? Am I really that lazy? Do I really hate change? I think there's truth to some of that. I can be lazy and avoid change sometimes. But I am so stuck in this rut that I really need to do something to change it. I am glad to have Laura in my life because I know she supports me and will always be there for me. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life. The thing that worries me is how I will be perceived by my son. I know he can't really fathom how upset I am with my job situation. All he can do is eat, sleep, poop, and smile and laugh. It's the smiles and the laughing that make my day sometimes. Yeah, I get frustrated when he cries and I can't figure out why but when he smiles and laughs it makes me happy. My wife and I have created this little perfect child and I want to give him what he wants and needs but first I have to get a job that I am at least happy with. Anyway, I will end on that note. My son's smiling happy face. It keeps me going.

Aren't I cute?

My favorite tripod picture

The Tripod

Man, why does it take me so long to write things here? Does anyone even read it? So what's new? I am trying to get a new job. It's a teaching job in Oxford as a high school Spanish teacher. But I need to get some sort of certification so I am dealing with that. Unfortunately as written in my last post my wife's grandmother passed away shortly after I wrote it. It happened so fast. I will always remember how welcoming she was with me ever since Laura introduced me to her and her family over 5 years ago. I will also remember all the food she cooked. (How could I not?) So I am wondering how Thanksgiving will go this year. It's usually over her place. Also, a friend of my wife's mother has died as well. So more death is happening. Hopefully she is doing better and her family is as well. Must be rough. I was there when Laura's mom died and it is something I can never forget because of all the emotions involved. My sincere condolences to all involved. Another bad thing: a couple of her friends are splitting up. This has not been the best time. I know that is hard also and we are there for them if they need us. We had a yard sale and it went okay. Not great. Wish we could have gotten rid of more. On a good note, even though he cries sometimes I still love my son. It's like sometimes he fights sleep and this makes him cry more because he doesn't want to fall asleep. Then he gets angrier and angrier. Poor kid. Poor us. But he is able to sit briefly for short periods of time. It's the tripod. I have sent out those pictures and hope you enjoy them. I need to get to bed now though. Man I am tired. See ya.

Death and Birthdays

I have a lot to say I guess but I am sort of numb right now. It seems that my wife's grandmother is in the hospital and not doing well. They took her off the machine that is supposed to keep her breathing today and there's nothing they can do for her. I am sitting here nervously awaiting the phone call we are sure to get that tells us she has passed away knowing how hard it was the last time we got that call when her mother died. That night is extremely clear in my head and whenever I think about it it makes me teary-eyed. Nothing is sadder to me than hearing and seeing my wife cry and knowing that all I can do to make her feel any better at all is to hold her. It seems unfair that she should have to lose 2 people so close to her in such a short span of time when I haven't lost anyone close to me since my grandmother died in 1983. Laura's family put on quite the brave faces so they could help to celebrate my 30th birthday (which was Tuesday). The Friday dinner was planned before all of this but even though I appreciated all the food and gifts it didn't seem right to really celebrate anything. My birthday seemed really strectched out this year since I was able to celebrate in Florida last week before my actual birthday and then again last night. It made me think about all the shit going on with my blog here. I know that some of you reading it hate my guts right now for some of the things I said which is fine. I wasn't trying to please everyone. I am also not trying to be mean for mean's sake. But it is sad and frustrating that after all this time we can't all get along for Laura's sake. She doesn't have to deal with any of that shit right now. I received an e-mail from one of you which I appreciated because it got things in the open between us. I am an easy person to talk to one-on-one and perhaps if you decide you don't want to feud for Laura's sake nothing could make me happier. If you want to ignore the whole thing, then what has changed? One of my biggest pet peeves is when people are nice to your face but then talk shit about you behind your back. This bothers me to end. If you have a problem with me, let me know. We're adults for chrissake not teenagers. I am too old to feel the need to deal with any of you on a superficial level. I would love to be able to get along with each and every one of you if you would let me. If that's not possible then please try and avoid me altogether because I would rather just not talk to you than for you to feign pleasantries with me. Now, I am not sure what the problem is between all of us. I wish I did. If I did something to offend you, just say so. I would gladly apologize so we could get past the animosity. I don't need the aggravation anymore. I am truly happy with my family. I love Laura with everything I have. We share the most wonderful son a man could hope for. I feel blessed with what I have. (Except for my jobs but that's another story.) I really want to bury the hatchet and hope that this is enough to make you (you know who you are) want to extend the hand of friendship to communicate like mature adults. What's it gonna be?

Another month

Wow, I can't believe it has been a month since I have posted anything. And so much yet nothing has happened. My son is another month older almost. He weighs over 14 lbs. and is 25 inches long which is in the 90th percentile. That boy is gonna be tall! We are leaving for Florida next week and I am excited about that. I am happy to have a bunch of days off in a row and also that my family gets to meet Zander. My mother has met him as well as my sister but that's it. I tried for a job in Florida but they didn't even give me an interview. And it was my old school even! We almost tried to get another house instead of this one. That was rather complicated and mostly Laura's doing anyway. I personally don't think we are ready and if things are this rough right now with a baby I can't imagine trying to throw in moving and everything involved in that process. But that's over for now and we are concentrating on trying to fix up the house for if we ever decide to try and move elsewhere. I am also dealing with a sunburned arm and neck. Every summer my left arm flares up and itches like crazy. I really hate it. I had to buy some anti-itch stuff but I think it's making me ill. I am usually pretty good about staying out of the sun but we had a party on Saturday and most of it took place outside. I only invited a few people since I don't have that many friends. Only 3 of them showed up for the actual party and 2 showed up after everyone left. The 4 of us played poker and I was looking forward to playing poker at the end of the night with whoever was left and give out the grand prize which I didn't want to reveal. So of course, no one in my wife's friends group wanted to play poker. Some didn't know how to play and some I guess just didn't want to try. I get so frustrated with them sometimes. They just seem so unadventurous when it comes to things. They never want to try new foods and like to stick with what they like. I mean how do you know you don't like something if you've never tried it? I am glad I married someone who is willing to try different things. She grew up in Maine and people around here just seem stuck in a rut to me. I don't mean to generalize but that's how they seem to me. I also feel like many people in Maine don't really "get me" for some reason. I know I can be rough around the edges but once you get to know me I am a pretty good guy and loyal as hell. There's nothing I wouldn't do for a friend. I have finally found friends who like me (I think and hope) and like the same sorts of things I do. Sure I am a bit older than them but not by much. (One of them is even older than me!) I have started a poker night here at my house on Monday nights and these friends come almost every week in some combination. I really can't hang out. I have a responsibility to be home when I am not working so I can give my wife any help she needs with my son. So I suggested doing the poker thing at my place so I could feel like I had a social life. I really enjoy it and look forward to it afer my weekend. Anyway, what happened on Saturday is this. Once it was time to go inside when the sun went down, we all agreed to play Scene-It the t.v. version. I am not as good at the t.v. version as I am the movie version but we hadn't even opened the box so I wanted to check it out. So we split up into 2 teams I think because it wound up being 2 sides arguing. My team had to watch a clip of the old Incredible Hulk show and then we were asked this question: What artist created The Incredible Hulk? Now, I know a lot about comics. And so did a few people there, especially Talcott. He speaks up and says, "Do they mean Stan Lee or Jack Kirby?" Both are credited with creating the Hulk. Stan Lee came up with the concept and Jack Kirby drew the Hulk based on Stan Lee's info. So we were wondering who would the game credit it with. Now, Stan Lee is not an artist in the sense that he doesn't draw. If you look at the Marvel characters he is credited with he is the co-creator of the X-Men, Hulk, Spider-Man, Daredevil, and so forth because even though he came up with the concepts he needed to find that artist to visualize what he had in mind. So we sat there and explained it to ourselves and the other team that we weren't sure what answer they were looking for. The team made us choose an answer. We said Jack Kirby. Of course the screen says Stan Lee because only a nerd would know Kirby. And then it happened. They wouldn't give us the points or whatever. Even though we explained that the game had worded the question badly they still wouldn't accept it. So instead of saying, okay let's throw it out, we moved on. I said I wouldn't forget this. And on the next question I didn't have to. The question that came up next had something to do with a Bob Newhart show. I don't watch any of his shows. The question asked something like, What was the job of Newhart's neighbor? So the one girl who knows a shitload about t.v. says he was an airplane pilot. This answer was incorrect. The true answer was airplane navigator. Seem familiar? So even though they got this incorrect, I heard all kinds of bitching and moaning that the pilot and navigator are the same thing. THEY ARE NOT. The pilot flies the plane and the navigator maps out the flightplan meaning he tells the pilots how and which way to get to their destination. Now, if they had gotten this question before ours I am sure the people on my team would have given them the okay to be right. But since they made such a stink about our answer I was like, fuck you, you're wrong. I have never before seen such a petty display of hipocrasy! I mean come on! I just thought it was instant karma and I loved it. The few people I have talked to who were there said that was bullshit as well. Why is it so hard for this not to work out with some people? I love my wife so much but sometimes I want to slap her friends and ask why are you this way? Not that I don't get along with all her friends. I do get along with some of them. Some of them I think genuinely don't have a problem with me. Some I think just try not to show they have a problem with me but won't say anything and some I can tell hate my guts. I don't have a problem with this but don't expect me to be totally cordial if you're not gonna budge one inch. Well, I think I have bitched enough for one day. Laura if you are reading this I am sorry for any pain this may cause you but at least we have had the discussion about this before I typed this all out. I really would like things to work out with the friends you have that I don't get along with but I am not sure how that will work. I need to get some sleep. Night.