Saturday, August 20, 2005

Death and Birthdays

I have a lot to say I guess but I am sort of numb right now. It seems that my wife's grandmother is in the hospital and not doing well. They took her off the machine that is supposed to keep her breathing today and there's nothing they can do for her. I am sitting here nervously awaiting the phone call we are sure to get that tells us she has passed away knowing how hard it was the last time we got that call when her mother died. That night is extremely clear in my head and whenever I think about it it makes me teary-eyed. Nothing is sadder to me than hearing and seeing my wife cry and knowing that all I can do to make her feel any better at all is to hold her. It seems unfair that she should have to lose 2 people so close to her in such a short span of time when I haven't lost anyone close to me since my grandmother died in 1983. Laura's family put on quite the brave faces so they could help to celebrate my 30th birthday (which was Tuesday). The Friday dinner was planned before all of this but even though I appreciated all the food and gifts it didn't seem right to really celebrate anything. My birthday seemed really strectched out this year since I was able to celebrate in Florida last week before my actual birthday and then again last night. It made me think about all the shit going on with my blog here. I know that some of you reading it hate my guts right now for some of the things I said which is fine. I wasn't trying to please everyone. I am also not trying to be mean for mean's sake. But it is sad and frustrating that after all this time we can't all get along for Laura's sake. She doesn't have to deal with any of that shit right now. I received an e-mail from one of you which I appreciated because it got things in the open between us. I am an easy person to talk to one-on-one and perhaps if you decide you don't want to feud for Laura's sake nothing could make me happier. If you want to ignore the whole thing, then what has changed? One of my biggest pet peeves is when people are nice to your face but then talk shit about you behind your back. This bothers me to end. If you have a problem with me, let me know. We're adults for chrissake not teenagers. I am too old to feel the need to deal with any of you on a superficial level. I would love to be able to get along with each and every one of you if you would let me. If that's not possible then please try and avoid me altogether because I would rather just not talk to you than for you to feign pleasantries with me. Now, I am not sure what the problem is between all of us. I wish I did. If I did something to offend you, just say so. I would gladly apologize so we could get past the animosity. I don't need the aggravation anymore. I am truly happy with my family. I love Laura with everything I have. We share the most wonderful son a man could hope for. I feel blessed with what I have. (Except for my jobs but that's another story.) I really want to bury the hatchet and hope that this is enough to make you (you know who you are) want to extend the hand of friendship to communicate like mature adults. What's it gonna be?

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Another month

Wow, I can't believe it has been a month since I have posted anything. And so much yet nothing has happened. My son is another month older almost. He weighs over 14 lbs. and is 25 inches long which is in the 90th percentile. That boy is gonna be tall! We are leaving for Florida next week and I am excited about that. I am happy to have a bunch of days off in a row and also that my family gets to meet Zander. My mother has met him as well as my sister but that's it. I tried for a job in Florida but they didn't even give me an interview. And it was my old school even! We almost tried to get another house instead of this one. That was rather complicated and mostly Laura's doing anyway. I personally don't think we are ready and if things are this rough right now with a baby I can't imagine trying to throw in moving and everything involved in that process. But that's over for now and we are concentrating on trying to fix up the house for if we ever decide to try and move elsewhere. I am also dealing with a sunburned arm and neck. Every summer my left arm flares up and itches like crazy. I really hate it. I had to buy some anti-itch stuff but I think it's making me ill. I am usually pretty good about staying out of the sun but we had a party on Saturday and most of it took place outside. I only invited a few people since I don't have that many friends. Only 3 of them showed up for the actual party and 2 showed up after everyone left. The 4 of us played poker and I was looking forward to playing poker at the end of the night with whoever was left and give out the grand prize which I didn't want to reveal. So of course, no one in my wife's friends group wanted to play poker. Some didn't know how to play and some I guess just didn't want to try. I get so frustrated with them sometimes. They just seem so unadventurous when it comes to things. They never want to try new foods and like to stick with what they like. I mean how do you know you don't like something if you've never tried it? I am glad I married someone who is willing to try different things. She grew up in Maine and people around here just seem stuck in a rut to me. I don't mean to generalize but that's how they seem to me. I also feel like many people in Maine don't really "get me" for some reason. I know I can be rough around the edges but once you get to know me I am a pretty good guy and loyal as hell. There's nothing I wouldn't do for a friend. I have finally found friends who like me (I think and hope) and like the same sorts of things I do. Sure I am a bit older than them but not by much. (One of them is even older than me!) I have started a poker night here at my house on Monday nights and these friends come almost every week in some combination. I really can't hang out. I have a responsibility to be home when I am not working so I can give my wife any help she needs with my son. So I suggested doing the poker thing at my place so I could feel like I had a social life. I really enjoy it and look forward to it afer my weekend. Anyway, what happened on Saturday is this. Once it was time to go inside when the sun went down, we all agreed to play Scene-It the t.v. version. I am not as good at the t.v. version as I am the movie version but we hadn't even opened the box so I wanted to check it out. So we split up into 2 teams I think because it wound up being 2 sides arguing. My team had to watch a clip of the old Incredible Hulk show and then we were asked this question: What artist created The Incredible Hulk? Now, I know a lot about comics. And so did a few people there, especially Talcott. He speaks up and says, "Do they mean Stan Lee or Jack Kirby?" Both are credited with creating the Hulk. Stan Lee came up with the concept and Jack Kirby drew the Hulk based on Stan Lee's info. So we were wondering who would the game credit it with. Now, Stan Lee is not an artist in the sense that he doesn't draw. If you look at the Marvel characters he is credited with he is the co-creator of the X-Men, Hulk, Spider-Man, Daredevil, and so forth because even though he came up with the concepts he needed to find that artist to visualize what he had in mind. So we sat there and explained it to ourselves and the other team that we weren't sure what answer they were looking for. The team made us choose an answer. We said Jack Kirby. Of course the screen says Stan Lee because only a nerd would know Kirby. And then it happened. They wouldn't give us the points or whatever. Even though we explained that the game had worded the question badly they still wouldn't accept it. So instead of saying, okay let's throw it out, we moved on. I said I wouldn't forget this. And on the next question I didn't have to. The question that came up next had something to do with a Bob Newhart show. I don't watch any of his shows. The question asked something like, What was the job of Newhart's neighbor? So the one girl who knows a shitload about t.v. says he was an airplane pilot. This answer was incorrect. The true answer was airplane navigator. Seem familiar? So even though they got this incorrect, I heard all kinds of bitching and moaning that the pilot and navigator are the same thing. THEY ARE NOT. The pilot flies the plane and the navigator maps out the flightplan meaning he tells the pilots how and which way to get to their destination. Now, if they had gotten this question before ours I am sure the people on my team would have given them the okay to be right. But since they made such a stink about our answer I was like, fuck you, you're wrong. I have never before seen such a petty display of hipocrasy! I mean come on! I just thought it was instant karma and I loved it. The few people I have talked to who were there said that was bullshit as well. Why is it so hard for this not to work out with some people? I love my wife so much but sometimes I want to slap her friends and ask why are you this way? Not that I don't get along with all her friends. I do get along with some of them. Some of them I think genuinely don't have a problem with me. Some I think just try not to show they have a problem with me but won't say anything and some I can tell hate my guts. I don't have a problem with this but don't expect me to be totally cordial if you're not gonna budge one inch. Well, I think I have bitched enough for one day. Laura if you are reading this I am sorry for any pain this may cause you but at least we have had the discussion about this before I typed this all out. I really would like things to work out with the friends you have that I don't get along with but I am not sure how that will work. I need to get some sleep. Night.