I hate my job

Well, it's been a long time again since I have written anything here. I am not sure why it takes me so long to write anything but I thought now was the time to do so. I hate my job. I really do. I have 2 and I hate one of them so much. My K-Mart job I don't mind so much. When it starts to get busy I feel like I am sort of in my element retail-wise. I mean not that I find selling electronics a life's calling but when there's a rush around the holidays and I can help people find what they need to make someone's Christmas present the right gift, that makes me feel good. But when I am by myself and there are too many people, that can be frustrating. I am not sure that I am great at this job but at least I don't feel like get shit from my higher ups. Now the movie theater job I have used to be okay until they fired my last boss. He looked out for me there and since we were both the only non-Mainers there we saw eye-to-eye on what they didn't see. He looked at the big picture. The people who work for Flagship Cinemas have such a weird way of looking at how to run a business it boggles my mind. They have no idea how to treat employees well. It's so damn frustrating. I wish I could find something else to do right now. Maybe since it's the holidays I can find something else at least temporarily. I would love to work in a bookstore again. There are a few in town and I think maybe I could try doing that again. Maybe when I get out of work I will stop by the mall and get some applications. Or perhaps the bookstore in front of K-Mart. I like working in a movie theater but this company sucks so bad. I like the free movies but I don't get to see movies that often so is it even worth it? If I am in L/A long enough I'd try the Best Buy even. I really want to teach again though. I miss it. I felt like I had found what I was supposed to be doing with my professional life. Unfortunately it ended at a high point when my mother-in-law's cancer got worse. I can't believe it's been almost 3 years since that happened and I have had only one teaching job since. That job was horrendous too. Why is it that I can't seem to find a job that will make me happy up here? Am I really that lazy? Do I really hate change? I think there's truth to some of that. I can be lazy and avoid change sometimes. But I am so stuck in this rut that I really need to do something to change it. I am glad to have Laura in my life because I know she supports me and will always be there for me. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life. The thing that worries me is how I will be perceived by my son. I know he can't really fathom how upset I am with my job situation. All he can do is eat, sleep, poop, and smile and laugh. It's the smiles and the laughing that make my day sometimes. Yeah, I get frustrated when he cries and I can't figure out why but when he smiles and laughs it makes me happy. My wife and I have created this little perfect child and I want to give him what he wants and needs but first I have to get a job that I am at least happy with. Anyway, I will end on that note. My son's smiling happy face. It keeps me going.